Saturday, December 31, 2005

Friday, December 30, 2005

Thursday, December 29, 2005

rome is burning

larry's talking some serious shit about steph's line last night. and i have to say he has a point. if you clock 40:12 and end up with 5/3/2 you're just not trying. you stick your hand out and you WILL get 2 steals by accident. i think we just have to accept the fact that steph doesn't have what A.I.'s got. or what chauncey's got. or what sam cassell's got. or even what nate rob's got. diving for loose balls, taking losses personal. getting angry cause your team is being disrespected. it's embarrassing. where's the fire? you'd think getting boo'ed at the garden cause of lack of hustle would make you angry. but steph looks bored. what more does he want? a max contract? check. a new york address? check. a young team? check. a hall of fame coach? check. ok he doesn't have a KG but seriously. 40 minutes and 3 dimes? 3!

i'm saying. i'm a huge steph fan, but it's just so obvious when he shuts it down. larry's not really helping him by talking shit, but this season is fucked already. who knows. it's a trainwreck. but not in the way i was looking forward to. there's not hustle! everyone looks confused or grumpy. booo

Wednesday, December 28, 2005


why the fuck is david lee starting!? does he matchup that better against hill than ariza does!? larry you are ruining these players! LARRY YOU ARE RUINING THESE PLAYERS! SETTLE ON A GODDAMN LINEUP AND STICK WITH IT FOR A WEEK!

what's next, they'll trade nate rob for matt barnes!? i heard he's good!

larry you're doing a bullshit job!


this is new new album cover! sorry brian i had to leak it!

she ain't turning down no sandwich!

haha ok i thought the juelz full length was disappointing based on the shredding singles that came out last summer, but i just got cooked crack 3 and i'm a fan again! funniest record cover ever? if only for the ghetto blurry LT? i dunno, the akon mixtape cover is pretty good too. ok that one's better.

i couldn't understand why the bitch had a handful of junk and a diet pepsi!

Tuesday, December 27, 2005


i blame this on larry. he's throwing his player out to the wolves. week 9 and they have no roles yet. jerome james? from the end of the bench to the starting 5. nate? 0-30 minutes. steph? PG! no, wait! SG! bench! larry you are not going to find the golden ratio. pick a lineup and stick with it. i don't care if it's based on contracts. these guys are all pros. bad product at the garden. next time i go i'm going with a paper bag on my head. but i'll still go...

sure the garden was cheering nate and booing steph in the 4th. i'm beginning to think NY fans aren't as smart as the media thinks. nate shot 5-5 from 3. 5-5! he hustles EVERY NIGHT. most nights he shoots 30% from the field and the knicks lose. last night nate, as much as we all like him, got lucky. if anything he sets a tone. a hustling, energetic, losing one! an erratic PG whose assist/TO ration is shit is not the answer. larry is bailing now but at least he knows starting frye, nate, ariza, and lee is definitely not the answer. start Q, steph, and antonio and let them settle in....

no trades either please. al harrington will not turn us into a winner. jalen? he, on the other hand, will take us a step above the pistons. isiah unplug your phone and get jerome on a treadmill!

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Friday, December 23, 2005

johnny damon report

cashman was on with benigno today and that guy is really on point. he was all 'don't get too worked up. things go wrong in baseball. i'm trying my best' this lineup is just so stacked. f a salary cap but i'm all for a salary minimum. teams gotta spend more so we don't have any more KC vs NY snoozers. though last year they whooped us. who wants to check out some games with me this year?

so the new panda bear is amazing! i know there are only two songs but they fuck me up! 'comfy in nautica' is on some ac/vashti levels. one of the top jams of the year i declare! i'm not surprised though it's impossible to hate anything these guys do.sometimes i wish i was younger just so i could listen to animal collective as a 16 year old. i wonder if i would've ended up a pothead...

soldiers of fortune killed it a little last night too. i was gonna go home after the rocko arcabascio dinner but i swung by to check out mikey bones' set. those guys shred, there no other way to put it. i'm bummed i missed the lamas. i bumped into olivia on the street and she goes, 'i'm not phil, you know'. all asians look alike it's true!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

this shit is so amazing. you're a real dick if you have problems with it [julio]

ok let's not schedule the parade just yet...

i'm not really feeling this johnny damon shit. i mean, i've been hoping the yanks would get a joey gathright or nook logan to help bubba out in center. no griffeys or hunters or... damons! remember when we got a-rod and we were like, bring on the dynasty pt deux! well, the dude has been sick with an MVP under his belt as a jank already. what do we remember him for? shitty post-seasons!

ok damon is 32, making 42 mil or more, right? what have we learned about baseball in say, the last 100 years? pitching wins championships! i'm saying. we have waaay too many dubious starters right now, even if you're not counting aaron small. i know you can't just add SP's on top of SP's, but can we re-up our priorities? can we spend for a bj ryan instead? a lights out releif pitcher? and just have bubba do his thing? sure farnesworth and dotel are nice, but farnesworth is hardly as dependable as even gordon was. and dotel may not ever pitch the same way again. plus i think he's a douche.

i'm just saying that moose and randy are good pitchers still, but if they hold their era's un der 4.0 i'll be REALLY happy. wang is good, but not a stopper. pavano i have hope for still and i think wright can turn it around, but he's a back-end guy. chacon pitched BIG for us down the stretch, but this guy has been a mediocre pitcher his whole career. his value lied in the fact that he was willing to close in 'rado.

so cashman gives us another all-star bat, and takes one away from the sox. he does what he can and i don't hate him, but i just don't think this damon thing is a big deal. watch the sox sign lugo, have lowell hit 30 HR's, have manny go for another MVP, with schilling wining 14-16, and have dave roberts in C with a .330 OBP, 100 runs scored, and 40 steals... and i bet you andy marte shreds as a pro...

Monday, December 19, 2005


i caught the classic game replay on NBA TV. the LJ 4 point shot game. and you know what? i got all choked up at the end! i seriously loved that team. spre! a hurt ewing! camby finally busting out! houston with knees! chris childs! JVG! and LJ! LJ! this guy played with 2 bad wheels and covered the best big on the court, even if he was a foot taller. his D was insane. that team really left it all out there and i just get so emo when i think about it. it's pretty much the last time the garden saw any life. that place fucking exploded when he hit that shot! where have all the good times gone?

that game was especially emo cause mark jackson's dad died and JVG got all brokeback and was like, 'we gave mark a ride home on our plane cause we love him'.

how weird is it that antonio davis is on the knicks right now? and how weird is it that stacey augman still gets clock in the nba? and on a good team! respect! the dominique/augmon combo in nba jam was unbeatable...

monkey movie spoiler alert

so at the end of the movie the girl and the monkey totally blaze! they make all these super tall kong / man hybrids that ball! i know, you think they're insane dunkers and shot blockers but they end up being ball handlers with shots! 3's all day... it takes 2.5 hours to get to it, but the knicks finally win the championship at the end.

and speaking of tall dudes- this weekend will told me he was an insane high school player in georgia! and he was joe forte's roomate when the went to states! forte was sick on UNC with stack. i'm bummed his career never panned out. i'm talking about will too.

Friday, December 16, 2005

and that's that

donnie walsh was on WFAN this afternoon with [the best sports dude in NY] joe benigno and of course joe just strait asks him 'what are the chances of artest coming to the knicks?' and to donnie walsh's credit he didn't even blink. he said, 'none'. there's a reason he's the best GM in the nba. he said he wasn't interested in expiring contracts and isiah wouldn't give up the young guys. good for isiah! even though artest at the garden would be BANANAS isiah's sticking to his plan. maybe we can get al harrington instead. that would be a good fit. that jared jeffries for Q deal sounds fine too. we just need a true 3! but maybe not a 'tru' 3... wa waaa

Thursday, December 15, 2005

f u i'm on a roll

flipping channels between rick kamla's fantasy show on nba tv and food network. the sound off. laughing listening to the last TI record. too bad 'rubber band man' isn't on it that song is really good. the weather blows outside. all i want to do is watch a knicks loss but they didn't play tonight and it's 2:19am.

i'm thinking: should i go to sleep? watch 'the machinist'? try to work out an epic trade for AK-47? or make some food? the answer: have a beer!

nooo big deal. just some shredders

it's 1/4 into the season and i just want to give it up for some players. sheed is rad. fuck you if you hate him. have you seen his threes?! thanks for carrying my 'pilate divac' fantasy team. also chris paul. damn that guy is good. wake produces some good players. hello to the second round fantasy wise next year. paul pierce got stabbed a million times and walked himself to the hospital. how cam is that? and this year he doesn't have toine ruining his game. shredding! and finally b knight. f raymond felton! ok i don't hate feltron but b knight's been shafted his whole career. and all he does is ball. fuckit he should've been nightcrawler in the x-men movies! no disrespect to dwight howard, ricky davis, TD, channing rye, chauncey, AI, bron bron, brand [!], and all those other rad players. f artest and iguadala. you guys are my favorites and totally sucking right now.


ok 5 years ago would you think these dudes would be on the same team? i actually think nomar could shred CF for the janks, but i dont want to overpay for him. dude the muscle tore off the bone in his groin. OFF THE BONE! mia ham was bummed. so i think he'll def get hurt again but he has a sick arm. and wheels. so CF? why not. look how brokeback these guys are! so brokeback! why break that up.

uh, that movie was kind of great. sure explosions should've done the soundtarck but still. dec 16 explosions report? the show made me bummed, but that EP is fucking great! i felt all weird on the train tonight.

amare this bogut that

'hello my name is dwight and my hobbies include stepping into the garden and dropping 23/13. and i'm 15 years old' nooo big deal. averages? 15/13 and 1.5 blocks. sure he could block more but damn. compared to other #1 picks this guy is fucking great! and i know i'm emo but it's real nice to see grant hill back and shredding. i never hated that guy at all.

dec is 15 here! time to trade Q and jerome james. f those guys.


SUCKED! ok sometimes i wonder if i have bad taste. i'm pretty sure i do. one time someone asked me 'who's better than bob dylan!?' and i said, 'SUPERCHUNK!' so i sweat the splosions pretty hard too. that last record still shreds my mind everyday. and i've seen them 5 times and everytime i loved it. yesterday? SUCKED! i know they're getting large off billy bob but they have to remember they're a fucking instrumental band, and should feel lucky people feel them. they played 1 hit, a bunch of old songs, and no encore. no encore! wtf they are not zep yet! it felt like a bullshit hip hop show, but instead of being late and sloppy, they were early and boring. i don't know if that makes sense

at least i got that mail-order EP. that's really good. sorry nocito for dragging you to the show. and to bad bars. at least you're in LA and i can't suggest going to shitty places. and i was so weird today after drinking with K dan and wildman til 5am last night, that i wandered around canal st like a zombie. somehow i ended up with 'the title stays in harlem' and 'back like cooked crack 2' those records are making me super happy right now. the comedy! i couldn't find that wayne tape K. can you dub it for me?

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

ok i don't think riley is a TOTAL douche cause he coached one of my all-time favorite knicks squads, but faxing your resignation? the lakers? fuck em! the heat? fuck em too! riley just wants the shine so bad, and even though he's been hooking up the van gundy family for years, the shit he just pulled was lame. SVG is a good coach. but i'm conflicted. the hate for the heat kinda fizzled. sure mourning is dick for a million reasons but dwayne wayne was awesome on 'a different world'.

you know what i'm not conflicted about? the new lil wayne! so emo!

haha lookit! thanks kenny for fwding this! i like how your friend thinks that shithole marquee is 'upscale'!


quick story you guys might enjoy. went to a party at laurens on saturday night. about 20 people. half of us went to some random bar, the other half went to this upscale place called Marquee. anyways, these 2 pretty girls who were visiting lauren from texas went to Marquee.

So yesterday morning, lauren calls me and says "Do you know some guy named Matt Line Hart?" i laugh and say yeah and don't bother to correct her. she says, well he was at Marquee last night, and hit on one of the girls from texas all night, danced with her, and then was so drunk he groped her....she turned around and slapped him, and left.

i said yea yea, i doubt it even though it kinda made sense that he would be in an upscale club getting trashed after losing the heisman. i told her i'd believe the story when i saw pictures. wellll, here they are..........

Monday, December 12, 2005

and let the circus shit begin...

donnie walsh said he'd deal artest, and he said he'll talk to isiah! ok this is totally my fantasy, kinda even over the KG rumors. are you kidding? remember he hit a game winning shot on thanksgiving a couple years ago, bum-rushed the camera and yelled 'QBQBQB!!' haha bring him here why not?

the question therein lies, would you trade channing frye, nare rob or ariza for him? i don't know, but i would say yes. i think frye is the player to get here, as indiana could sure use a big man to help jermaine out, no disrespect to jeff foster. that's tough, dealing frye, but we'd be getting an all-star back. and with artest you're talking about a NYC folk hero. him AND marbury running the garden? curry filling the paint? hell yes

as for chris russo on WFAN that's another story. i have beef with this guy. i'm not one to make racialist accusations, but this goes way back to when layden was GM. mike and the mad dog had him on right after the van horn trade when the knicks were at their WORST. and him and layden were yucking it up! patting his back and tickling his danglers. isiah takes over and the first day on the job chris russo is hating him! now he blames isiah for ruining this team salary cap wise. fuck you! this shit is on layden's and checkett's hands. now today on WFAN he's dissing r kelly for 'disrespecting the anthem' [bullshit that performance was killer] and artest for being a 'cancer'. you know who'd love artest in NY? everyone not named 'mad dog'! douche!

isiah! bring! artest! home!

Sunday, December 11, 2005

is artest trying to pull an eli manning? orchestrating a trade to NY? needless to say the minute he sits down to the nyk news conference there will be bootleg artest jerseys on delancey. $25! right next to the jeezy 'tru warier' hybrids. i can't wait! marbury and the big crazy on the next cover of SLAM!

Saturday, December 10, 2005

the griz

look at these sweet throwbacks the grizzlies were wearing on friday. they're kinda awesome! of course if i had my say there'd be a slight modification...

i also checked out grizzly bear last night and they were definitely not as awesome as damon stoudemire's new fabric. i thought at best they sounded like U2 'joshua tree' era, which is not bad at all, but the jams were too tender. and off-key. and long. i've seen them before and they were good. wha happened? maybe next time...

tyondai braxton and soft circle killed it a little for me. who's mad at weird house beats and crooning through an alvin and the chipmunks filter? surprisingly not me!

i felt like i had 2 left feet last night. spilling drinks on people and getting tongue tied. some people thought i was douche-y for sure. such is life!

Friday, December 09, 2005

miguel i didn't have you pinned as an asshole

"I've been with the Orioles for two years and things haven't gone in the direction that we were expecting, so I think the best thing will be a change of scenery... I've done many things with this team and I haven't seen results, and the other teams are getting stronger while the Orioles have not made any signings to strengthen the club"

uh... WHAT? this team goes out and gets sammy sosa, gives javy a huge contract, ramon martinez [for 27.5!], and leo mazzone. LEO MAZZONE! sure they're not the janks or the mets or the sox, but this team is trying to put a winning team on the field for sure. tejada stop being such a bitch. you're surrounded by all-stars. of couse they could use more pitching, but what team couldn't? look at the fucken rangers for chrissakes! chill with your millions and brian roberts hitting before you and melvin mora protecting you in the lineup.

i got the new scoobie snacks mix tape today and it's giving me a headache. there are some jams but the whole thing is making my head spin! 'keep a shotgun like elmer fudd you can tell the judge dog!' 'i MC like Mike Krzyzewski' 'take your daughter R kelly had my way with her face!' the jokes! more jokes! that song 'shangi' os kinda fucked up though. what did i expect? these guys hate everybody...

good show wildman you should be psyched!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

... and they blew it!

the collapse was coming we all knew it. curry had a nice game, but frye had a snoozer. while we know they're directly related, i don't see what we can do about it. if they'd each average 13/7 i'd be happy with that, but no one knows what role they're gonna play any given night. larry's looking for a 'magical' combination for the first and second squad, but i think he should just stick with the same dudes. what, 'I GOT IT!!! JEROME JAMES PLAYS GREAT WITH PENNY! FINALS HERE WE COME!'

and i don't know why steph's not shooting 3's anymore. last year he averaged 1.4 a game, and this year it's 0.3. we all know larry is telling him to shoot less, but we need some downtown threats. to at least keep the defense honest, right? Q rich come back quick! jamal! no more off-balanced runners in transition preeze!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

ok penny take it through the 2nd half!

watch the 3rd quarter collapse happen before our eyes

hypothetical question: you are charged with rape. you are convicted of rape. you cry at the trial. he resurrect your career on a troubled team. they trade away the 'problem' players on your team. you mouth off to your boss saying 'on a losing team i demand more clock',

you are ruben patternson. go knicks!

why did the knicks have to go and shit on matt barnes?

he starts opening day, hustles, gives us a spark, then rides the pine. then he's in a suit. then he's released to waivers so we can pick up... Q woods! ok i know people make mistakes and athletes' problems get blown way out of proportion, but how do you say to a judge 'yeah, i fight dogs, and i accidentally tortured the hell out of one and probably others that you got no evidence to throw at me'. i'm not a vegetarian or super weird about animal rights, but how you gonna torture a dog for fun?!

now Q's on the knicks. i'm sooo excited for his 1.5/2 averages. drop this fool and get matt barnes back.