i'm standing by my fucking review!

but i remind you i did not completely shit all over the album too...

runkle hooked up a copy of the new album and my first impressions have been confirmed. not that epic! nothing stands out! blah blah blah infinity! will i listen to it a million times? probably! fuckit!

can someone over in texas get me a weird moz promo shirt? in my mind the have weird mike jones styled XL shirts with logos everywhere, but just with morrissey instead. also, how good is that bow wow song with mike jones?

SXSW REPORT!

here at earlboykins studios we're up to our necks in final four madness, so instead of going to texas, we sent a few correspondants to SXSW to cover some jams for us. staff members include the wild dude, k, wags, the duke, and win-ton. some are slacking and some aren't. here we go!

wildman text updates:
3/15 7:17 PM
body: DOUCHE!!!

3/16 2:40AM
body: I am at a spoon echo and the bunny man show open bar no big deal

3/16 2:49 AM
body: You are so light

3/16 7:16 PM
body: Dr dog in an alley with free beer

3/16 9:38 PM
body: at the moz

3/16 10:38 PM
body: He opened with hector no big deal

3/16 11:16 PM
body: How soon is now

3/16 11:26 PM
body: too many new songs not that major

K reported via phone. something to the effect of "KKKEEEUUUUOOOOO". the duke reported this afternoon with "yeah ghost is tonight did you go to the fish hey i gotta go"

there it is. all you need to know about SX. i also heard moz was at the four seasons swimming in the pool. more updates soon!

are you actually saying that we are not as cool as we think?

envelopes report! hello 'best album of the year' for THRILL! zine...

last night they played the merc and if it wasn't for SX it would've been more crowded. but it wasn't and i was stoked! they kinda reminded me of the new bad things from portland. remember that band? nobody does it seems, but they were great. 6 kids, none of whom would play their axes or kits very well. but anthemic and sweet.

those swedes... think the 'hooked on phonics' vocal stylings of the pastels, mixed in with a tiny bit of the rentals, and crayon. dude rhymes lee-on-ard with leotard! yeah he's a 'tard alright! awesome! if i had a time machine i'd put their record next to my six cents and natalie 7"s, and probably would listen to them like crazy. the only time i was pissed all night was when they were charging 18 bones for a disc. luckily it has some jams on it. i'm scared of an imminent twee comeback but let's just hope is the lopes and that's it.

also, i wish i was at SX with my bro's! please send me pics of devin the dude and ghost! and the dog! from all 5 shows! and MCR/lifetime! and someone please sneak into a moz show for the boykins... i hear he's good!

i'll take the finger then

frere-jones has been freaking out about ghostface for the last few weeks. he finally wrote a proper review. let's take a look.

first line: "I own only one piece of art depicting a musician"
last line: '“See—I was born in 1970, yo. You know what, I’m a seventies man, a Taurus and shit, and I love, like, shit like that. I’d rather write to shit like that than hip-hop any day.”'

damn SFJ has a boner for the new record, but it is really good. i agree with all the weird enthusiasm cause the record is candy. like a taco with the works or a rad slice. good all the way through. i think SFJ is a good enough critic, but he loses points after posting MP3's of his band's demo. the songs suck! and i like how he's got a 'if you want to sign us' link. keep waiting dude! and it's a shame cause james lo is on some of the songs. he jammed hard in chavez. from 1 to the new yorker back page, the review gets a 7.0!

also, sanneh wrote a rock n roll hall article.

first line: "Last night, for the 21st year in a row, a roomful of rock 'n' roll movers and shakers morphed into rock 'n' roll sitters and eaters."
lst line: "A wedding has a dance floor."

haha pretty good. how does he get away with being such a dick? on a scale from 1 - 10 the review gets what kelly osbourne looked like last night. before you front google it.

k who do envelopes sound like? and 'streethawk' still shreds 'rubies' you're crazy.

dude

we know you're a great basketball player. one of the greats of all time.

we hate because you're an accused rapist, you refuse to share the spotlight with another player [even if it makes you the best team in the nba], you badmouth your teammates, you can't laugh at yourself, you wear tinted sunglasses indoors, you can't rap, you're a dick, and you probably listen to matisyahu.

SACRE BLU!

i declare this guy my favorite fantasy player of 05/06! today in yahoo leagues he just qualified for C! uh... C! so we're talking SG, SF, PF, C eligiblity! since that fucking slacker dirty kurty went down with a foot problem and killed my team [looks like zeke traded him just in time] diaw's been averaging 19/9/8 with a little less than a block and a steal per. oh, and 65% from the field! colangelo was a great GM in phoenix! that sign-and trade with JJ and getting this guy diaw as a throw-in? it's proof to the idea that being a good GM is 1 part talent sountingl, 1 part financial wisdom, and 1 part luck! sometimes teams end up with brad millers and ben wallaces and diaws for nada. it's crazy.

sure amare will buzkill him a little when he returns but damn, what this frog does when he gets some run!

casual friday!

casio vs japan: bought completely off scott mou's recommendation, which is dubious cause most of the time when i ask him what's good he just picks up the album that's closest to him. but this one jams! i'm really really late on this one but whatever. it's casual!

it sounds not unlike boards, but not as boring? e*vax, but not as good? lullotone, but not as bright? B Fleishman, but darker? it's good. it sounds like this guy is dying to tell you he's dying a little bit. if computers and synths can tell you that. it's solid, a good work record. on a scale from 1 to bobby digital i'll give it a 7.5.

second, the new witch record! 1 guy named mascis, 2 guys from feathers, and some other dude. i know the feathers part is weird but the record's decent. mascis plays the drums on this one and the songs are sludg-y. more sabbath fan-outs. sounds a little like shred meadow live. not too eventfull, but not bad enough to shit on. not good enough for exclamation marks. on a scale from 1 to guitar lessons this gets a 7.3

you were dreaming

elvis perkins report! thanks brian for turning me onto this guy! last night he played the merc with blood on the wall. so i've been jamming his MP3's SO hard for the last week. and i was more than geeked to see him and cry into my scotch.

the live show was just ok... he seemed to casual and coffee bar-ish. i kinda later'd him in my mind but i bought the demo just cause i wanted those extra tracks. the demo is fucking incredible! so exactly what i needed! i mean, he's no bejar by a mile but the songs are simple, weepy, ambitious, long, and swoon-y. 'ash wednesday' is a hit. 'without love' shreds! 'moon woman'? i mean really it's all good stuff.

i know i know terrible band name but au contraire. he's anthony's perkins' son! his mom died in one of the 9/11 planes! so emo it's crazy... buy this guy a beer!

booo

Matisyahu reviews

sanneh's first line: On Monday night, America's most popular reggae singer took the stage wearing a black hat and a long black coat, but it wasn't a costume.
last line: "Don't let them fool you," she sang.

fennessey's first line: Matisyahu (née Matthew Miller) is a guy from White Plains, N.Y. who smoked weed and followed Phish and played in those drum circles everyone hates.
last line: There might be something to that.

ok i call bullshit on this Matisyahu guy and everyone who listens to it. it's weak. it's a stupid trick. it's offensive. don't fall for it. he kinda makes me mad in this racialist kinda way and the fact that he sold out two shows at the hammer is a joke. i'm hating! sanneh's review is one of the best reviews he's jammed yet. i usually don't like to do this, but check out these choice quotes:

"Perhaps Matisyahu's fans aren't familiar with a little-known group of performers who still make great reggae records: Jamaicans."
"Matisyahu's black hat also helps obscure something that might otherwise be more obvious: his race."

some fennessey quotes:
"His music, however, isn't all that special."
"Matisyahu's roots reggae is flimsy stuff. Not necessary novelty. Just not that novel."

maybe i have an aversion to white guys from white plains who smoke and follow phish and think they're 'black on the inside' [or jamaican]. or maybe i just have an aversion to assholes. both these reviews get a high-ten.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZ0oydAVKM4&search=superchunk

here you go aaron

a latrell post! you're telling me tim thomas can get signed, and be a starter 3 days later on a championship calibur team and spre gets no call? can denver not use a defensive stopper? how bout indiana? shoot the garden fans would lay down a red carpet for a spre that would probably average 6 points and 2 rebounds. we're talking heart here people...

huh?

they got it! not as weird as elliot smith by a longshot but still... RAD

clipse?

knitting factory sausage fest report! clipse played the kf last night. packed like sardines. so many angry rap fans with big backpacks. hey turn that frown upside down i say!

the clipse were fine. they played some jams from their last tape. when 'roll with the winners' came on i wanted to go home and listen to T.I. instead. when 'mic check' came on i wished i was back at that weird party where juelz rapped into a mic that didn't work and it was really fun. i dunno. i have trouble getting exciting about backpack raps. what's the deal with the star trek business? yikes. 'we got it for cheap 2' is a good tape, but i didn't really need to stress out about the show. the highlight of the night was the pre-party supergroup wags will noc shredding some rolling stones karaoke-wise! kelly you got kicked out after we left?! was party-kate involved?

oh and big thanks to the fader guys for basically escorting us in past the line. i felt like a douche but it was fareezin.

this is it

another look at some reviews

first we got sanneh on the strokes show

first line: Maybe it was inevitable.
last line: But he didn't give the audience any reason to believe him, or not to.

i thought K was too easy on them. sure we all know they were great once, but it would've been funnier to shit on them more. or is it too easy? i'm never sure. on a scale from 1 to drugs, this review gets a pixie stick.

Fennessey reviewed the new T.I. jam

first line: Tip always takes the unsophisticated and extrapolates, letting his lissome flow weave and groan and munch on the beat.
last line: If only all rap were this easy.

and then he gives the song 5 stars! i don't think the song is that much better than 'rubber band man' or 'bring em out' but it's still good. T.I. the artist gets 4.5 stars. the song gets 3.5 stars. the review also gets 3.5 stars.

finally, zach baron reviewed the new new radiant storm king

first line: An unhappy late-1990s memory of mine consists of Giovanni Ribisi's pants down, full junk out in the non-remake remake, SubUrbia: no Vandals or TSOL, just swinging balls to period-piece Decline-of-Western-Indie-Rock mood-setting.
Last line: Until, that is, you realize what you're shouting along to: "Reckonings of who you should have been/ Are by comparison/ Sure of who you were 10 years ago/ Where does a decade go?"

this review is pretty funny. what the fuck how is this band still together!? the review gets 7.5. what? it's funny!

run around with fake frowns... sell them on ebay!

belle and sebastian report! from the only venue in NYC named after a cell phone company where cell phones don't work! this was some DTV pay-per-view vibes for sure. lights, slickness, perfect sound balance, etc. and it SHREDDED! the opened with 'stars of track and field' and went into some new jams. 'white collar boy' 'tiny little frog' and then into 'fox in the snow' 'me and the major' and 'i'm a cuckoo'! jason had some jedi mind trick set-list thing going. no 'strap', 'take me away from here' or 'women's realm'. but they did play 'your cover's blown' no big deal! stuart even pulled a veddar and had a crowd surfing sesh!

i felt a little old like i was watching a classic rock band. so many requests. so light. but what can i say the songs are still weird. a couple people were making fun of me cause they narc-ed me singing along to 'judy and the dream of horses' no homo. i'm tempted to go back tonight but i just don't want to lay down that cash. 40$ damn. 10$ drinks damn.

also, the new ghostface is blowing my mind! more about that later!

it's been a bad year it's been a bad year

josh hooked me up with some love is everything. i dunno if it's new stuff or old stuff, but i assume it's the full length that's coming out april 1? uh, i really like it! the sensitive bro jams! the weird joan of arc stylings! i think bobby's dying to tell you he's dying! if i got this as a tape back in the day i would've freaked the fuck out. instead, now i'm more level headed and just amped. in a grown-ass man kind of way.

on another music front winton's been sending me some amazing new jams from off the interweb. more about that to come!

Dr Dog at Southpaw on March 25th!!!

i promise i will not yell any thing at them this time. but i could be lying.

what a long, strange trip it's been

last night i was subjected to a brief, but annoying series of questions

Q: destroyer or arctic monkeys
A: destroyer

Q: destroyer or belle and sebastian [hard one]
A: destroyer

Q: destroyer or moz
A: moz

what's a fugazi?

"I've never been in a situation I didn't know in my heart we were going to get better," Larry Brown said after Monday's perfunctory pummeling in San Antonio. "And I'm not giving up here. But it's embarrassing. Every game, to go out like this, and I don't see one change in terms of the effort and enthusiasm or the unselfishness."

And then, the gut shot: "This group," Brown said, "maybe we don't think about the same things I do."

on a day when tim thomas decides to sign with the suns, and a chance at a ring. sure we all poke fun at TT's 'fugazi' k-mart allegations, but when was the last time a knick cared that the team was losing? hmm... larry johnson? latrell? i know! tim thomas!

so the knicks played the spurs last night. finley goes perfect from the field. 8-8. 5-5 from 3. two games before, nenad goes perfect from the field. 11-11. the D looks so soft it's funny! no, really, on all the sportcenter highlights you see duncan and kidd laughing. LAUGHING on the court. teams see the knicks on their schedules and think 'at least we get to play the knicks'.

remember when a player got hot against the knicks? anthony mason would knock him down and get thrown out. spre would get up in his face. LJ would box him out to the halfcourt line. tim thmoas would... make fun of him after the game! but still, there was a sense of pride. you think francis doesn't know he's a pawn? like rasheed's one game with the hawks or piazza's one week with the fish.

now that we're talking about francis, i think it's almost time to start thinking of him as a declining player. an isiah rider. a laettner. sure they all had their moments, but they're not once what they used to be. and it happened quick. not from injury, but in their minds. maybe next year isiah will ship him off to memphis or minnesota and he'll thrive again, but hello nick van exel career for the 'franchise'. am i jumping the gun a little? have you seen this guy play this season?