insert emo title here and/or the state of the knicks

"we'll give you curry and frye for iverson... "

dolan/isiah's imminent off-season indecent proposal.

so francis made is knick debut last night. zzzzzz... talk about redundant! francis logged 33 minutes. shot 6-12 with 4 dimes and 5 rebs. the last 3 was made when dudes were walking off the court, so let's say his line was really 13/4/5. true it's his first game, but the minute you put on the knicks jersey you lose a step, age 5 years, and get richer. crawford played 13 minutes and went 0-3. nate was a DNP. this is bullshit.

francis will not magically turn into kevin garnett. we added another expensive piece at the 'expense' of another expensive piece, which is crawford. imagine if the heat traded wade for yao. or imagine if the lakers traded odom for ray allen. or if the suns traded marion for jason kidd.

the knicks getting francis for a contract isn't as harsh as those scenarios, but the redundancy is is so obvious! crawford gets 13 mintues!? uhh... isn't crawford making tons of money too? and aren't his stats per minute comparable to francis'? and nate's a folk hero in the making! dolon! want fans in the seats? how bout putting the reigning slam dunk champ on the floor! douche!

we'll see what happens when the season's over but i mean, this team looks listless. no life. we need our rooks on the court, not disgruntled guards who pine for ex-teammates and refuse to re-enter games. i'm pissed. 15 wins 39 losses, people.

casual record review feb 25 2006!

whoops i thought i had all 'the carter collection' material so i passed it up last week. uh, there's a lot of new wheezy here! reebok put some money into this so all the songs are mastered well, and sound fucking great! what can i say? fuckit what can i say i'm psyched on this CD. it's even got 'shooters'... the leno sesh! and more tender jams! 'do what you what you do'? 'boom bap'? so good! i think i already like this as much as his gangster grillz... is that weird?

southen smoke 24. yup! another good one! it starts off great with some fired-up jams. the usual cast: wayne, jeezy, three 6, paul wall, etc. the kryptonite remix is crazy too. sometimes these comps are a bit hectic for me, but i like all the southern smoke i have, which isn't much. i prefer the wayne but i could change my mind tomorrow. oui!

watch my moves 3. i bought this for cam's new jams. wet wipes is a little funny. i'm not a fan of sex songs but any cam is good cam pretty much. i guess it's kinda embarrassing for him that jay-z didn't respond to all that bullshit. sort of like kmart and tim thomas. this disc isn't as good as the other 2 but whatever. i'm not that mad. it's casual!

i'll make it wintatime

sanneh has been jamming hard this week. let's take a look to see how wrong/right he is.

first, 'you can't ban the snowman'

first line: "Young Jeezy's latest CD isn't a sequel to "Let's Get It: Thug Motivation 101", his mesmerizing album from last year."
last line: People "say I can't rap and they might be right," he announces, shrugging off the insult for the same reason he wears a diamond-encrusted snowman chain: because he can afford to."

ok the piece was shortl and this is basically half the review. yeah, basically i gather K is saying that this guy's LP was great, this tape is just good. some jokes. the review gets 3.5 mics. hey! it's short!

second, yesterday he wrote about 'destroyer's rubies'

first line: "Daniel Bejar is the Vancouver singer-songwriter who performs as Destroyer."
last line: "You can almost imagine Mr. Bejar shushing his characters ("Quiet, Ruby, someone's coming"), ushering them off the page and back into the songs."

this is one of k's better reviews. but i really don't know cause i skip all this martnia mcbride/papoose pieces. k is generally a dubious critic, but he has some jams. the review gets 5 mics.

report! toosh!

Ubl reviewed the battles re-issue today!

first line: "There are few bands I'm more willing to give the benefit of the doubt than Battles."
last line: "Surprise has so far been their only guarantee."

surprise? now, i've been a fan of ian williams for forever it seems. tyondai's solo stuff is great, i actually have the lynx stuff and i like 'strap it on' by helmet. an 8.0? hmm... i would say more like 7.2. c'mon with these guys' pedigrees i have to admit i was expecting more when these EP's came out. they're good, i will buy anything they do, and i will tell my friends to see them.

i think poitchfork is fine most of the time, but if destroyer just got a 8.5 a few days ago, and today battles gets a 8.0, i'd tell the writers over there to get some walkie talkies and confer about their ratings system. i have an idea: just review the record and fuck the number bullshit! the review gets a 5.6.

remembrances of things past

3PM passed and there it goes. we get stevie disenfranchised and that's it. it's pretty hilarious how many guards we're holding, how much money they make, and how none of them are true point guards! so the consensus around the league is that by draft time isiah will try to unload our late 1st round pick, either steph or francis, and frye for the big ticket. whatever at this point will it make a difference? sure KG would be sweet but i'd rather keep frye, and trade one of these guards for a starting big who isn't the best and most sought after player in the last 10 years. i'd take kenny thomas for crawford. sure! Q in a sign-and-trade for reggie evans? ok! stephon marbury in a sign-and-trade for al harrington? OUI! there's also rumors zeke is targeting jermaine o'neal, but that guy is just too injury prone to touch right now.

isiah's GM sensiblities i can relate to though. he pines for the past! he's always referring to his 'bad boys' and tries to re-create its frontcourt. he pines for his indiana past so he leaks it to the media that he's targeting o'neal and harrington. what's next? bill laimbeer as a head coach candidate? oh wait...

dude is just emo. reading belle and sebastian liner notes and thinking, 'wouldn't it be great if i could re-live those days where i didn't suck?' zeke! let go of your past! you can never go back!

i think salary caps have weird racial undertones, and i'm generally against them. but for the knicks' sake, we need one STAT! look what dolan/sather did with the rangers. people were asking for sather's head as he held onto big contract after big contract. lindros, holik, fleury, jagr, etc. what happens? the NHL goes on strike, comes back with a cap, sather ships his 'excess' pieces off to other teams, and the rangers are shredding! people are even talking cup! one year this took!

so during the next owners/players meetings i hope they figure out some sort of hard cap. just cause instead of the 10 years it will take the knicks to fix this current mess, it'll speed it up to where we'll see them in the finals before we die!

stevie wander

"This is a trade that we all feel makes us a better basketball team for both now and in the future," Thomas said in a news release announcing the deal. "In Steve, we add an All-Star caliber player to our team without giving up core assets that are key to our future."

"Acquiring a player of Steve's level and talent is very exciting for this team," Brown said. "In him, we have added a veteran that could help us in many areas, and assist with our young players' development."

ok so i've been bitching abvout this trade for weeks, but now that we got stevie without dealing crawford or lee or nate is kind of a coup. albeit everyone knows we should've let penny walk, but this is from an owner who shipped patrick ewing out for luc longley and glen rice! obviously dolan wants to spend, and whatever. let's try to make the best out of it.

francis and marbury will be weird, but at least they're both proven players, with a lot more to prove. i won't judge this trade til tomorrow when we find out which stiff we get for crawford or lee. joel pryzbilla? i don't think theo's coming here. thankfully. the list of free agents this summer is fucking impressive. chauncey [ain't going anywhere], bibby, vince, rashard, and 'the truth'. man if isiah could land PP that would be the funniest, most expensive team to miss the playoffs!

just look at the winning bid amount

for that stupid poster in a tube!

B is for brendan! A is for awesome!

so brendan played last night at cakeshop with first nation. now, i have a giant soft spot for BARR starting from the dogg and pony days. i'd watch brendan get booed onstage and confront people and it was rad. i can't say his jams are for everyone, but to me it's super inspiring. sure it's idyllic and weird sounding, but i love it cause it's idyllic and weird sounding! it just makes me pumped when he talks about 'community' and 'squadrons' what can i say. he's not the only one living in the 90's! i just have a lot of respect for everything he's done and is doing. i'm a fan!

"what you wanna make? think about it! make it now!"
"give the magazine out for free! make it with me!"
"you had a plan for your band and you didn't tell your band now you're out of the band"
"A is for always"

and first nation sung happy birthday for carol! happy birthday carol!

go see BARR and first nation on tour with animal collective. it'll be a weird, rad show!

oi vey!

matt lemay reviewed the new destroya today
first line: "Those of you who keep abreast of online rumor-mongering might be surprised to find that the rating at the top of this page is a few points shy of a 10.0."
last line: "Encapsulating and elevating the best of Destroyer's back catalog, Destroyer's Rubies serves as a potent reminder that the intelligence of Bejar's songs has never obfuscated their emotional weight."

sounds like lemay has great taste! i'll give this review an 8.5 too! awesome!

the hudson bell review from the same site
first line: "Hudson Bell is a singer/songwriter originally from Louisiana who now resides in San Francisco."
last line: "Closer "Sea Horse" utilizes quiet organ drones, lush guitar strumming, and soaring vocal harmonies to bring everything together, and, along with "Slow Burn", bookends a rich, delicate album."

unlike the well written destroyer review, this review is blah. very much like this band. they gave the album a 7.4, i give it a 5.6. the review gets a 4.0...

nate!

the toosh report! feb 16, 06

stosuy reviewed the new AIDS wolf record today. here we go!

first line: "The "buzzworthy" aspects of AIDS Wolf's The Lovvers LP are the basically pointless, peripheral details you've probably heard a couple of hundred times by now."
last line: "Maybe it's a joke? For now, let's just call it shit in wolf's clothing."

haha i agree! the review gets 4 mics!

you know... when you think about it, it's retarded!

ok let's say the rumors come true, and isiah sends crawford, lee, and penny to orlando for francis and battie or something [cato's gone aready]. let's look at crawford's numbers last year with lenny and herb. i'm taking last year's stats cause this year's situation with larry has hurt everyone's numbers... rotation wise, not performance wise. i'm taking francis' stats for this year thus far.

crawford: 17.7/4.3/2.9 with 1.2 steals and 2.6 threes a game. also, 2.1 turnovers.
stevie 'wonder': 16.4/5.7/4.8 with 1.1 steals and .4 threes a game. 3.4 turnovers.

my argument is this: you're giving up crawford, who's not as good as steve francis, but put into the right situation [if larry ever figures it out], he's not far off from francis. and when you account 3PTM and TO he's kind of right up there. the minute francis gets to NY larry will stick him in his doghouse and francis will huff and puff to the media that 'it's just no fun without cuttino'. and you throw in david lee, a great bench player [already!] and a juicy expiring contract and you start thinking... don't we already have a shoot-first point guard? do we have a small forward yet? do we have enough money to interest melo, bosh, wade, lebron, iggy, howard, josh smith, ben gordon, or any young player who would listen to the knicks if they had any cash flexibility? hmmm... better get that maxed-out shooting guard now!

marbury and francis would be fun to watch sure, but how is it that much different than marbury and crawford? fine dolan will make isiah deal penny. but francis? dolan! steve francis on the knicks will not bring us back to the garden for those $75 seats and $8 beers! show us some goddamn foresignt! cablevision is robbing knicks fans!

and we all know what isiah sees in francis that we don't: 'steve's a player that reminds me of myself.' ... uh, this is getting ridiculous!

guess which one of these 3 guys is vince

please don't say the baby

now, if it is true that the hawks are willing to move al harrington, i think isiah should go out and get him. obviously zeke thinks we can get it done with curry at the 5. fair enough. ok. so we still need a true 1 and 3. watson i like but kmart i'm worried about. i'd be happier with a delk/harrington scenario. whatever even lue/harrington.

i'm just a baby al fan what can i say. he's 6' 9", 26 years old, and gives you 18/7/3. he chips in with steals and 3's too. sure on a team like the knicks his average might dip, but he's playing with joe johnson and zaza right now. easily comparable to marbury and curry... i can't say i'm not worried about his knee as well, but what are you going to do.

let's see if the knicks can beat the worst team in the nba tonight. someone please guard felton and knight. please! watch jumaine go off for 4 3's tonight. no perimiter D from ny ever... larry what do you do at practice? and would i trade the entire bobcats roster for the knicks roster? in a fucking second!

bigupbigwillandwags.blogspot.com

you guys are bro-ish. much thanks for the great party last night. some dude in the crowd had to school me on the ways of the dancehall but there was no doubt: sham was fucking awesome! it was good times! hi-five!

please don't break my heart and have destroyer come to town and only rock one 'ron delsner' show. me and some guy named 'the schmizzle' will cry onto our 'rubies' promo discs... but i'm joking no worries! beggars can't be choosers! "quiet ruby someone's coming, approach with stealth... it's just the precious american underground!

haha ok whatever bring the 'franchise' on...

According to ESPN, the Knicks are making a strong push to land Steve Francis before the Feb. 23 deadline.
New York is hoping that the dangerous backcourt of Stephon Marbury and Francis could salvage their dreadful season. New York is offering Penny Hardaway, Jamal Crawford and either Trevor Ariza, David Lee or Nate Robinson in exchange for Francis and Kelvin Cato, whose $8.64 million salary comes off the cap at the end of the season. Minnsota and Denver are also interested in Stevie Franchise

will isiah pull the trigger

the rumors are picking up... all these dudes have been linked to a swap involving penny's contract and david lee. i'd be bummed to see lee go, but i won't lie... i'd be super-amped to see lamar brodom at the garden! this guy is can play all 5 positions! as everyone knows, isiah should really just let penny's contract expire, but since we know dolan won't let him, we might as well get a player. wouldn't mind watson, but f kmart. i just don't trust thise knees. and i'd rather have reggie evans than drew gooden. what would be the softest frontline in the game? how bout gooden, frye and curry? yup.

i declare a new boykins tradition

ok i'm gonna start reviewing reviews. i'm gonna call this new series 'TOOSH: CASUAL REVIEW REVIEWS'. first up? the life pursuit. why not? it's casual!

so pitchfork went ahead and hooked the album up with an 8.5. not bad! i think that might be high, but i won't argue. pitchfork reviews are long winded but i read most of it. btw who's gonna start the pitchfork cliff notes? damn these nerds can go on... then again so can i. anyway, the first sentence: "Every religion began as a cult.' and then the last sentence: 'The Life Pursuit is a baroque pop cathedral, welcoming the faithful and newly converted alike." Hogan's 'faith' angle to the review good, but really, all people do is look at the 8.5 and head to amazon to buy the thing.

in K's review he goes out of his way to dis nocito, which is crazy. we know who's wrong 99% of the time but to go and call him out like that? faced! ok first sentence: "Not long ago a query arrived, urgent and unexpected, via cellphone." last sentence: "It's a hopeful possibility, but a bittersweet one: maybe it's possible to love this band a little less, and a little longer." K stop watching 'the notebook' and pick up your balls.

i basically agree with both reviews. pitchfork gets a B+/B the times gets a A/A-

"i told you trap or die. if you didn't trap, kill yourself! " and/or "let my nuts hang like a sony flatscreen"

man talk about a lifesaver! it was mope-lympics for me all weekend and i decided to put the boots on and try to find the new jeezy. SCORE! it's candy! man this gangster grillz series is great! i'm only 5 tracks into it and i'm declaring it an A-/B+. some good comedy here. but jeezy could've taken a deeper cut at 50. that track isn't funny enough! and why is jeezy so hung up on his critics? who cares?

is it better than 'title'? nah 'title' is fucking great, but it's right up there! the next one i'm waiting for is the wayne/juelz tape that they're calling 'i can't feel my face' haha i can't spend that $4 fast enough!

he was also good on that show 'a different world'

this guy is so real! the I.Q.! the stability! the focus! really. the knicks/heat rivaly has long passed. it's weird to see reilly pulling the strings for the heat cause i was sure he had the knicks going forward. the heat knicks clash was great.

aaanyway wade's shit on sunday was just sick! he just took over the game in the 4th.... 17 strait points to come back and beat the best team in the nba by 2 points. all on jumpers it seemed! it was kind of crazy to watch. his finishing line: 37/8/4. season? 27/6/7. throw in 2 steals and a block with 8 FTM per. uh...

but you have to give it to kobe and wade as two dudes who will just come though in the clutch. it's crazy. wade let's see these antics in the playoffs... i know it's only his third year but this team is built to win now. i'm a fan! christ rooting for the heat. what happened? also... f kobe no big deal.

good to see the bro's tonight. big up big b, schmizz, k douche, win-ton, virge and PK. i've been emo! not memo! not wemo! just emo... i think i have a chocolate hangover from all those M&M's

don't eat the yellow snow

today larry called curry and frye 'cornerstones' of the knicks franchise. what a long strange trip it's been since the last 'cornerstone'. only a guy named pat ewing! so the knicks have lost 13/14? or is it 14/15? eh, it's hard to bitch about them any more than i have, but just to reiterate, i think the distribution of blame starts at larry, goes to isiah, and ends at dolan. why dolan? for years all he's wanted is to get into the first round of the playoffs. whether the knicks lose or not, cablevision makes fucking cheddar off 3-4 home playoff games. this makes the knicks worth it for the ownership.

the prospect of 're-building' with young players and expiring contracts isn't really the priority. proof? jalen rose? tim thomas? luc longley? Q? keith van horn? stephon marbury [ok maybe for me and me only the steph trade i liked]. it's been this way since the 90's, but the difference between then and now, is the difference between patrick ewing and eddy curry!

oh, and 27 inches in central park! nothing to do but watch a shitty feed of the knicks vs houston! wtf the MSG picture looks terrible! always!

AAARGH!!!!

"Isiah Thomas is committed to revamping the Knicks' roster by the Feb. 23 trading deadline and is considering making a bid for Denver power forward Kenyon Martin. According to a league source, the Nuggets are shopping Martin, who will earn $65 million through the 2010 season."

i secured a room in the castle, it paid for itself

thanks sandy for hooking me up with the jams, 'destroyer's rubies' was worth the wait completely! not better than 'this night' or 'streethawk' but it's been stuck on repeat in the stoods for the last 3 days. pretty strait-forward, care-free, and subtley super heavy. of course i like the first track the best, it's a 9 minute 27 second banger. 'the sketchy crowd shows me drawings, they're alright... you disrupt the world's disorder by the virtue of your grace, you know. i didn't want to go, but leave i must'. i really have trouble discussing this guy objectively cause i'm such a fan! you might not like it at first. or maybe even the 20th listen. but on the 21st his songs will fuck up your miiind. "you can huff. you can puff, but you can never destroy that... stuff. finally i see why i'm supposed. kids you better change your feathers cause you'll never fly with those... things." this guy's no genius but you have to stop and think about it for a sec... A-/B+

interesting....

so the knicks fell short to the rockets today, but not by much. and jalen looked good! making the pass that leads to the assist! spreading the court, chipping players on their way to alley-oops, etc. basketball IQ! who knew? i don't think this was a wise trade, but it could have some short-term entertainment value. it seemed jalen mellowed out the team and dudes were playing in rhythm and knocking down jumpers. everyone but jerome james. wtf this guy looks lost! and out of shape!

enough abut the pick we got with rose, it'll be a 20th pick. i bet isiah ships jalen out before next season anyway. david lee rides the pine again! that's fine but don't name him the starter again next week just so you can bench him again later on. douche!

don't touch my bikini

i finally saw 'the shield around the k' last night. of course these days any vinyl record or cassette makes me pine for the 90's. the good ol days! you know sxsw? back then it was all IPU, Yo-Yo, and working holiday!

so this documentary was fine. the live footage was not well edited and the 'fan' aspect of the filmaker was too evident. you could always hear the 'yeahs' and 'reallys' during interviews, but the gesture was nice. good interview subjects too. jean smith is hilarious! who knew! slim moon seems bro-ish as well. i wanted more calvin and ian, who are retardedly smart guys. the video highlight for me was the tiger trap video cause i just really loved their drum sound. i wanted more of the nation of ulysess/NW cross-pollination, but it was still nice. a bit idyllic, but that was the vibe back then. you either were in a band, put out records, or did a zine. that's just the way it was. it all seemed so micro-cosmic, sort of like this film... B/B-.

www.jalenrose.com and/or isiah we think you fucked up again

why couldn't you wait for antonio to walk!? we need that money to come back! jalen's making almost max money for this year AND next year. ok i know we really needed a true 3 but rose is not the answer. what happened to the al harrington talks? i mean, checketts and layden dug a really deep hole, but zeke we can't keep collecting contracts. please don't trade penny for erik dampier i'm begging you! i feel bad for isiah cause we're not focusing on the real problem. to get all sinead, the real enemy is james dolan and motherfucking cablevison! dolan doesn't want to rebuild? what the fuck are we doing now then!? the finger pointing must start at the top. f dolan! also, larry could you get david lee some clock please? sure he has rough spots but this guy can ball!

prediction: nate will get the charity spud webb dunk victory. he will feel strong. very strong. he will come back from the all-star weekend throwing alley-oops to himself and averaging 7 turnovers a game. a week later he rides the pine all the way to the end of the season. larry you're weird.

young people, growing report

i've kinda been waiting for young people to play again for years. i caught onto them when 'war prayers' came out, which was kind of a summer 2004 anthem for me. driving around LA singing along to 'ne'er do well'. i put that song on 3 different mixes in my day. check out 'stay sweet' or 'collection'. 'el paso' is worth a look too. seriously these songs are great! think beat happening with girl singer? but folkier? 'stay sweet... growing bigger... you know no right... like them we'll cross over...' so good! i also think they're punk as hell. if you listen to it think about it.

so last friday they played the knitting factory and jeff, a bro from providence back in the day, has since left the band and they added one guy from roxy pain and 2 girls from telepathe [another great band!]. verdict? weird! the songs sounded like they never rehearsed or bothered to do a sound check. it didn't suck, but it was very 'huh?'. they were heckled which was a shame cause i bet their new record is great. it's on too pure! spiritualized's label back in the day! all new songs. i was beat i left before the end. i bet in a year they'll be great again...

before the young people played growing shredded a mind-blower! adam couldn't hang with the sesh but nocito and marmaduke agree, growing get a big 'OUI'! not quite doom metal, not quite sunn 0))), but they always get those labels thrown at them. it's just really tasty sounding stuff. will! did you find out if they played to a dat? i'm curious... there's a ton of free downloads on their label. i'd say, 'get em!'

argh i find it really difficult waiting

do you enjoy good music? me too! new walkmen record in april! NO BIG DEAL

Astronomers have determined the size of 2003 UB313, a large ball of ice and dust that might or might not be a planet.

this really blows my mind. i'm serious

f-a-n-n-i-n-g-o-u-t

i picked up a copy of the swirlies' 'blonder tongue audio baton' for $5 last night! i misplaced my copy years ago when i was making an emo cassette mix for some dubious crush. i forgot how amazing it is! pancake! it's not as good as 'what to do about them' but it totally holds up a decade later. i thought the first syrup single was good but the full length had me baffled. i also got the latter swirlies CD's and they're good but not as good as the taaang! records. not nearly as good! again, this B&W pic is almost exactly how i ran it in my zine 13 years ago...

the babyshambles has been out forever but i just got that too... it's great! really, it's pretty damn good! 'fuck forever' is a hilarious song and there are some really drugged out beautiful moments. my fave is 'The 32nd Of December'. he wants to be joe strummer but who doesn't? 3.5 - 4 mics!

happy birthday josh! it was a shredder last night. i took it to the max! me and nocito beat marc and spence at darts! douche! will unleashed marmaduke and now i have my kidneys all bruised up. suxxx

fuckit k get back to work on that article about that weird band whose best album rhymes with spliff your peeling minister